Lately Dana and I have been experience some really insane traffic incidents where people bust a u-turn right in front of us from a dead stop and almost kill us or we get cut off in traffic, more so than the usual nightmare that is Seattle traffic. That gave me the idea to tell you all about a few times that I almost died on the road. So here we go, buckle up! (Pun absolutely intended)
I was listening to Speakerboxx by Big Boi and cruising down the interstate. I was going below the speed limit, being cautious, and jamming out because that’s a pretty sweet album. There was a grandma in a grandma type of car, driving like a grandma in front of me. Seriously going 40 on the interstate! So I decide to pass her on the left. I never used to believed it when people told me that the roads are always slicker when it’s barely raining because the oil in the asphalt comes to the surface or something along those lines, but I absolutely do now. I get over into the left lane, and go to pass her. This is a multi-lane interstate divided down the middle by a shallow grassy ditch of a median. As soon as I get in the left lane and well ahead of the lady (I am going 50, the speed limit is 60 I think… Could have been 55) I hydroplane for the first time in my life. When your car hyrdoplanes a they tell you not to turn the wheel or hit the breaks just take your foot off the gas and stay straight. The thing is, I did none of that… I hit the brakes, and try to get out of the hydroplane which puts in a full horizontal spin.
|a little light reading…|
I wasn’t quite into the lane of oncoming traffic, just at the top of the other side of the median. My car immediately (miraculously) shuts off and roll backwards down to the bottom of the median. I had such a tight grip on that purple ’97 Dodge Intrepid’s steering wheel that I remember my hands hurting afterwards. I tried turning the key again to get it start a few times, no dice. I also don’t know anything about how a car works so I am screwed. Luckily I lived in Mississippi where you can throw a rock and hit someone who knows how to rebuild a transmission in their garage or reads “How Small Engines Work” for fun in high school (I’m looking at you Joey Treadway). There was an angel of a man who pulled his big ole pick up truck to the side of the road. He yells out at me, “ARE YOU OK?” I yell back at him that I’m alright, but I can’t get my car to start. The next part is a blur, but we end up getting my car started somehow. I turn the car off and put the car in neutral. I get out and he helps me push it to the top of the median. He says, “Alright son, when I say GO you smash the gas and get on home now ya hear?” So I say yes sir, he waits for traffic to clear and yells out GO so I hit the gas like he told me to. I scoot on down the interstate; I get off at the next exit and take the back roads all the way home, driving like a grandma the whole way.